Yesterday was my mom's funeral.
I've totally come to the conclusion that funerals are done so quickly after death so you can't even really fully comprehend what just transpired. Your mind just won't let you believe what your seeing or feeling. It's the weirdest experience ever.
The service was incredible. We showed my mom's 80th birthday slideshow showcasing her entire life in segments to certain songs. So beautiful and we laughed out loud through the service too. My dad in his short shorts, dark dress socks and black shoes on the beach. I remember those days. :) xo Dad!!
It was so cool to witness how many people admired my mom. By the numbers that attended, she was near hero status in my eyes.
And to see some of my neighbors and friends there that didn't really know my mom but were there for me?!? I think that made me cry more! :)
I even made a speech during the tea service thing. I told abit about my life with my mom. I'm so glad I did it. I wrote it the night before until 3am. She was worth it.
I was equally proud of the other family members that got up to the mike to honor my mom. It's not easy to do when you feel like that. Some speeches were quite humorous which mom would have loved. It felt good to laugh too.
I was so proud of my son. He was such a trooper as this was his first official funeral where he actually new the person that passed away.
We went to my sister's after the funeral. I'm glad I did. It felt good to mingle. I wasn't quite prepared to go home to a quiet house yet at the time. Once exhaustion took over, yup, then I knew I'd be ok.
I stayed stupid busy today. Couldn't sleep in, got up at 7, and worked on a project at home. Projects keep me creative and creative keeps me in my happy place. So for those of you that wonder how in heck I'm able to produce projects for a decorating contest at a time like this? Now you know. Day by day. I'll see how that all goes.
I need to start up my walks again. I think I'll start Monday. I need to walk some of this anxiety off. It comes through as impatience and anger at odd moments and while I know that's part of the normal mourning process, I need to keep it in check. Walking helps. Monday it is. River dyke and dog Jenna, we have a date!
Thanks to all for your incredible prayers. I know they are working. I know it. I'm surprised I'm doing as well as I am and I have you to thank for that.
These beautiful dried hydrangeas are on my mom's fireplace mantel. Aren't they the most beautiful hue? Gorgeous. Just like she was.
I miss you mom. Our regular visit is now officially overdue. But because I know you're safe and well, we will be ok.