Today, on my poor little neglected off topic blog, I'm honoring my best friend and biggest fan, my mom.
Last nite, Tuesday, March 30th at 9pm, my mom collapsed while grocery shopping. And she never woke up.
God took her very suddenly, just like she did with my Dad years ago. So I go into this new phase knowing, this was indeed planned.
My mom was one sweet gal. She showed the masses what true optimism was. She was artistic, loved life, loved her family beyond measure, and her faith her highest ranking hobby. Her hugs were long, and it pained her when you left her sight. When you left her place, she always went outside and stood by the road waving until you were completely out of her line of vision. Without fail. It was always hard to leave her and her place. She just never seemed to get her fill of you. She loved her family and was the finest example of what a parent could be.
Last night at the hospital, I actually smiled through my tears as I held onto her for the last time. I was holding her leg through the soft flannel sheets because I wanted to remember her warmth. My playful thoughts were, "Mom, you stinker! What have you gone and done now?!?" My most inner thoughts were, she was finally reunited with my Dad, whom she desperately missed every single minute he was gone. They simply were a pair that belonged together. And now they are.
Yesterday had me feeling like it was a day to celebrate. Most certainly shock has taken over, but more than that, I was able to see over and beyond the fog, that THIS is where she needs to be. It was time. Even without warning for those that loved her.
How I feel today? Hour by hour. It's all one can do.
It's ok. It will be ok once we figure out the new norm. For now, I'm simply clinging to the thought that she's no longer in pain from that back of hers, she doesn't have to remember those silly meds nor does she have to wear hearing aids that never worked to her liking anyway.
And she's in the most ultimate place ever. WHAT A DAY that must be! I can't even imagine.
Between the tears that will no doubt spill, I wear a celebration hat for my Mom. Missing her desperately will come easy. So I'll continue to attempt to turn my thoughts to what SHE must be living in right now.
How I wish I could pick up that phone and ask her what her new pad is like. :) For now, I'll just have to wing it hour by hour and know she's being cared for by The Ultimate. Lucky gal.
See you soon, Mom. And Dad. My thoughts are with both of you today.