Wednesday, March 31, 2010

My mom.


Today, on my poor little neglected off topic blog, I'm honoring my best friend and biggest fan, my mom.

Last nite, Tuesday, March 30th at 9pm, my mom collapsed while grocery shopping. And she never woke up.

God took her very suddenly, just like she did with my Dad years ago. So I go into this new phase knowing, this was indeed planned.

My mom was one sweet gal. She showed the masses what true optimism was. She was artistic, loved life, loved her family beyond measure, and her faith her highest ranking hobby. Her hugs were long, and it pained her when you left her sight. When you left her place, she always went outside and stood by the road waving until you were completely out of her line of vision. Without fail. It was always hard to leave her and her place. She just never seemed to get her fill of you. She loved her family and was the finest example of what a parent could be.

Last night at the hospital, I actually smiled through my tears as I held onto her for the last time. I was holding her leg through the soft flannel sheets because I wanted to remember her warmth. My playful thoughts were, "Mom, you stinker! What have you gone and done now?!?" My most inner thoughts were, she was finally reunited with my Dad, whom she desperately missed every single minute he was gone. They simply were a pair that belonged together. And now they are.

Yesterday had me feeling like it was a day to celebrate. Most certainly shock has taken over, but more than that, I was able to see over and beyond the fog, that THIS is where she needs to be. It was time. Even without warning for those that loved her.

How I feel today? Hour by hour. It's all one can do.

It's ok. It will be ok once we figure out the new norm. For now, I'm simply clinging to the thought that she's no longer in pain from that back of hers, she doesn't have to remember those silly meds nor does she have to wear hearing aids that never worked to her liking anyway.

And she's in the most ultimate place ever. WHAT A DAY that must be! I can't even imagine.

Between the tears that will no doubt spill, I wear a celebration hat for my Mom. Missing her desperately will come easy. So I'll continue to attempt to turn my thoughts to what SHE must be living in right now.

How I wish I could pick up that phone and ask her what her new pad is like. :) For now, I'll just have to wing it hour by hour and know she's being cared for by The Ultimate. Lucky gal.

See you soon, Mom. And Dad. My thoughts are with both of you today.

:) xoxo


13 comments:

Susan said...

Oh Donna! I am so very sorry. There are no words to express my thoughts and none that would help in a time where pain has no definition. I am with you my precious friend, any time of day or night. I love you with all my heart.

Sandy said...

I, too, am so sorry for your loss Donna. I'm crying as I type this because I know the pain you are going through. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss my parents and they have been gone 19 and 16 years now. Cherish those moments and memories of your Mom (and Dad) as I do mine. My Dad died suddenly and my Mom lingered three long weeks and I still find it hard to believe I can't pick up the phone and talk to them. I bet your Mom (and Dad) were so proud of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Teacup Lane (Sandy)

Kolein said...

Tears,

Love,

Peace and

Care,

my friend.

Kari said...

Your sentiment is truly beautiful, Donna. Your mom is lucky to have you and Cody to remember all the wonderful things about her and celebrate her.

I loved meeting her that time at Banners. She reminded me of a (slightly) older version of my own mom. We are lucky people, aren't we?

Telling you I am sorry seems inadequate to me, but I truly am sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and Cody!

Kari

Anonymous said...

Donna,
I just wanted you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your son during this difficult time.
Kristina

Cheryl said...

Oh Donna, I'm so sorry to read about your Mom - I get that you were close to her and your Dad and that is such a special gift - I love the photo of the 3 of you - so beautiful - I would think that it must be a shock to have her leave so quickly - I don't know how one gets through that except with lots of caring friends - you are in my thoughts and prayers

Betty Jo said...

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your Mom. I wish you and your son comfort and blessings in the days ahead. ♥

Yemalla said...

Donna, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. She was such a wonderful lady. I'll always remember her for her sweeetness and kindness. Brightest blessings of comfort and peace!

Namaste

~Mary~ said...

Donna, I'm new to your blog, and I am very sorry to for your loss. Having lost my Mom in Sept 2006 I know the heartbreak you must be feeling. There is nothing like "Mom". Knowing though that you will one day see her again is the greatest gift along with all those special memories she gave you. The photo you have posted shows the joy in her face.
Mary

seesue said...

Smiled through my tears reading your beautiful love notes of your mom. I admire your attitude and wish you comforting moments filling your hours. Hugs.

Kathy from DoubleNickelsandBeyond said...

Wow, Donna. First, I didn't know you had blogs other than Funky Junk. So I started exploring (nosy me). Reading this post about your Mom actually brought tears to my eyes. Just today I bought a card for Mother's Day for my Mom. It's hard to imagine not doing that someday.
God Bless,
Kathy

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