Monday, September 14, 2009

Positive parenting

Here's my grade 5er on the first day of school holding Teddy Bear.

Back to school is here! We've had a great summer with relaxed schedules and simply taking some downtime to enjoy our surroundings. Temporarily stopping the game Beat The Clock has it's merits!

But we're now back to wearing a watch, making sure the cell phone is charged and there's plenty of gas in the truck. It's time for high productivity again, with work, school and play.

And something else needs tweaking I've found. With a tight new schedule, comes alot of demands on our time in regards to keeping things moving forward in the right direction.

"I don't want to go ! I'm tired! I can't find it!" x whatever else you'd like to conjure up.

And my response is generally, "Don't don't don't don't..." in order to keep things moving. Battlefield!

We were at a BBQ yesterday and right away I saw something going wrong. "Don't keep bumping me, I'm holding hot coffee in that hand." When we approached the food line, it was, "Don't squish me, I need more room. Stand over there as you can load up your plate just fine and yadda yadda sis boom bah blah blah blah!" Went through deaf ears. That's when a dark cloud starts to angrily dance above my head clouding up my sun shiny good mood.

And that's when the gal in the food line serving up grub simply said, "Here, hold your plate like this and load up here." End of story. Done. No more needed. And he complied. (crickets chirping and the sunshine came out)

Ok, truth be told, when it comes from elsewhere, they're more obedient. But the point is, I forgot about those 'positive' directives.

When my son was growing up, I read book after book on positive discipline. It seemed like the kinder way and made sense. And it did work! But somewhere along the way, I just forgot. Summer relaxed our senses and need for speed and order. So basically put, I was rusty.

Now armed with my new and improved way of dealing with 10 yr old fumbles, I tried it this AM. Rather than no's, I put into practice my yes's, simple directions to keep on task, and stepped away from all ensuing and pending arguments.

The result? Much quieter and our stuff got done on time.

Don't get me wrong. There's much retraining to conquer. Testing to be incorporated (from both sides). But we will find our way once again.

It just helped to be reminded from one on the outside looking in. Thanks, lady at the banquet table!

Won't you join me? Let's parent with a loving heart, filled with positives. And watch them grow from it. Because they truly do deserve our personal best.
Sometimes it helps to simply be reminded. Doesn't it?


KarenSue said...

It's so difficult! Mine are older 17,20,27 girls. I'm at the stage of letting them figure it out for them self. I try to keep my mouth shut. I would do it this way-what ever it is. You think you are pretty cool about things. Well guess what! I'm not right now. But I will be later. I think.

Loree said...

Ah yes. Sometimes it's so difficult to keep calm when they're testing you to the limit. But at the end of the day, all is forgiven.

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