Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Living in the 'now.'
I have this 'friend' that sneaks in from time to time. It doesn't come invited. In fact, I groan when the visit transpires.
Being relatively healthy my entire life, when this vertigo thing hit about 9 months ago out of the blue, it caught me completely off guard. It shut me down to the point of not driving, not visiting, struggling to work many days. It's not steady. It comes and goes as it pleases. It's a lifeform all on it's own it seems.
At the time when it hit, I was going through a somewhat stressful time in my life. Heavy with reno deadlines, work related issues, plus. I don't know that this issue is even related to stress to this day. But being hit with this so suddenly stunned me into action.
So I did all the moves and tests necessary because something was wrong. But do you know how frustrating it is when you have an issue that no one can find the cause to? Crazy. However I got on with life as best as I could. And one promise I made to myself was, when this fog finally moved upward, I was going to make some big changes in my life. Obviously something was not working as is before, so I made some goals.
And then one day it lifted. Little by little, my head cleared. I was estatic! And started implementing new changes.
I kicked open the door to my adult spirituality and started going to church. I started self teaching myself a few things on the net about blogging and design. I started a new physiotherapist for a new kind of treatment. I've started down a passionate road leading to a 'work' I will adore. I started volunteering. I started some evening spiritual classes. There simply was no stopping me this time!
And then BAM, the big V strikes again. Not cool.
Looking back, I was very busy before this hit. When I chilled and slowed down, things got better. Now that I'm at full speed again, although in new exciting directions, it hits again I have a funny feeling that my body is saying, "Too much. Again, too much."
Perhaps I'm 'lucky.' My body actually speaks to me and tells me when enough is enough. Now... will I learn to listen?
Ok ok. So what to give up I don't know yet. But for today, it's time to chill and be in the moment that Emily speaks of. The moment of now. Just stop all this preplanning and enjoy the NOW. I'm going to stop my spinning world single handedly and be still for today. Even if my head isn't cooperating. Yet.
Thanks Dr. Emily. This is something the docs did not prescribe, but something I will try regardless.
If you are curious about the NOW topic I refer to, visit Chatting at the Sky's Tuesdays Unwrapped where I am sharing this post.