I have this 'friend' that sneaks in from time to time. It doesn't come invited. In fact, I groan when the visit transpires.
Being relatively healthy my entire life, when this vertigo thing hit about 9 months ago out of the blue, it caught me completely off guard. It shut me down to the point of not driving, not visiting, struggling to work many days. It's not steady. It comes and goes as it pleases. It's a lifeform all on it's own it seems.
At the time when it hit, I was going through a somewhat stressful time in my life. Heavy with reno deadlines, work related issues, plus. I don't know that this issue is even related to stress to this day. But being hit with this so suddenly stunned me into action.
So I did all the moves and tests necessary because something was wrong. But do you know how frustrating it is when you have an issue that no one can find the cause to? Crazy. However I got on with life as best as I could. And one promise I made to myself was, when this fog finally moved upward, I was going to make some big changes in my life. Obviously something was not working as is before, so I made some goals.
And then one day it lifted. Little by little, my head cleared. I was estatic! And started implementing new changes.
I kicked open the door to my adult spirituality and started going to church. I started self teaching myself a few things on the net about blogging and design. I started a new physiotherapist for a new kind of treatment. I've started down a passionate road leading to a 'work' I will adore. I started volunteering. I started some evening spiritual classes. There simply was no stopping me this time!
And then BAM, the big V strikes again. Not cool.
Looking back, I was very busy before this hit. When I chilled and slowed down, things got better. Now that I'm at full speed again, although in new exciting directions, it hits again I have a funny feeling that my body is saying, "Too much. Again, too much."
Perhaps I'm 'lucky.' My body actually speaks to me and tells me when enough is enough. Now... will I learn to listen?
Ok ok. So what to give up I don't know yet. But for today, it's time to chill and be in the moment that Emily speaks of. The moment of now. Just stop all this preplanning and enjoy the NOW. I'm going to stop my spinning world single handedly and be still for today. Even if my head isn't cooperating. Yet.
Thanks Dr. Emily. This is something the docs did not prescribe, but something I will try regardless.
If you are curious about the NOW topic I refer to, visit Chatting at the Sky's Tuesdays Unwrapped where I am sharing this post.
I happen to have proof my 10 yr old is still young.
Here's a pic from our camping adventures from this summer. He's playing with plastic apes! (wait... I play with them to so what does that make me? Nevermind, that theory may not wash after all.)
Today's dilemma is, my son wanted to walk to school all on his own. We live in a very small town, so it's not that it's a terrible thing to do. It's just that there's an extremely busy road he must CROSS on the way to school that had my stomache aching.
Yes, there is a crosswalk guard manning the road. But you know.. if a mom's eyes are not on their child, it's like throwing him into the deep end of a pool! (yeah, I have issues when I watch him swim too)
Anyway, this fine AM Cody insisted he wanted to walk ALL BY HIMSELF. whimper...
"I'll just make sure you cross ok, then you can go, alright?"
"Ok, I'll just..."
"NO MOM! I'm grown up now!"
So I prepped him well about waiting for the traffic to STOP before proceeding across the road, regardless of when the crosswalk sign was behing held up. Make sure you have eye contact, wave and make sure they wave back, blah blah blah. I got alot of eye rolling and the like, but I had to have my say by golly!
I know abit too much. I volunteer at that crosswalk and not ALL traffic stops right when you want it to. Being a crosswalk guard is an artform. You wait for a lull in traffic, THEN you risk life and limb and throw yourself out there with your teeny weeny little stop sign and flashy glow in the dark vest, two features that do NOT stop traffic alone. You don't rely on your gear. You rely on your wit and good judgement calls. And pray on occasion too.
I'm happy to report, I convinced him to let me go to the end of our road so I could at least see for myself that there was a guard there. Sometimes they aren't, it happens. When I saw the crosswalk was well taken care of, Cody IMMEDIATELY set me on my way back home.
I do know he'll be ok. There's lots of kid activity on that sidewalk. And I also know the crosswalk guard can see the kids pretty much until they walk into the school yard. So, I really DO know he'll be ok.
But just for today, I feel very immature. I think my 10 yr old has finally surpassed my own age, as I may never grow up after all.
So, it's bedtime and I'm laying beside my son while we chat about his first day of Sunday School in quite some time. We started talking about prayer and what it can do for us. Amid the converstation came,
Son - "I can't sleep."
Me - "Maybe you should pray to ask God to help you feel tired."
Son - "Nooooo."
Me - "Well yadda yadda yadda this is why sis boom bah flin flan and everything but the kitchen sink." (meaning, I was giving a pretty good speal)
Suddenly, my son says,
"Dear God, please make my mom stop talking so I can go to sleep."
Here's my grade 5er on the first day of school holding Teddy Bear.
Back to school is here! We've had a great summer with relaxed schedules and simply taking some downtime to enjoy our surroundings. Temporarily stopping the game Beat The Clock has it's merits!
But we're now back to wearing a watch, making sure the cell phone is charged and there's plenty of gas in the truck. It's time for high productivity again, with work, school and play.
And something else needs tweaking I've found. With a tight new schedule, comes alot of demands on our time in regards to keeping things moving forward in the right direction.
"I don't want to go ! I'm tired! I can't find it!" x whatever else you'd like to conjure up.
And my response is generally, "Don't don't don't don't..." in order to keep things moving. Battlefield!
We were at a BBQ yesterday and right away I saw something going wrong. "Don't keep bumping me, I'm holding hot coffee in that hand." When we approached the food line, it was, "Don't squish me, I need more room. Stand over there as you can load up your plate just fine and yaddayadda sis boom bah blah blah blah!" Went through deaf ears. That's when a dark cloud starts to angrily dance above my head clouding up my sun shiny good mood.
And that's when the gal in the food line serving up grub simply said, "Here, hold your plate like this and load up here." End of story. Done. No more needed. And he complied. (crickets chirping and the sunshine came out)
Ok, truth be told, when it comes from elsewhere, they're more obedient. But the point is, I forgot about those 'positive' directives.
When my son was growing up, I read book after book on positive discipline. It seemed like the kinder way and made sense. And it did work! But somewhere along the way, I just forgot. Summer relaxed our senses and need for speed and order. So basically put, I was rusty.
Now armed with my new and improved way of dealing with 10 yr old fumbles, I tried it this AM. Rather than no's, I put into practice my yes's, simple directions to keep on task, and stepped away from all ensuing and pending arguments.
The result? Much quieter and our stuff got done on time.
Don't get me wrong. There's much retraining to conquer. Testing to be incorporated (from both sides). But we will find our way once again.
It just helped to be reminded from one on the outside looking in. Thanks, lady at the banquet table!
Won't you join me? Let's parent with a loving heart, filled with positives. And watch them grow from it. Because they truly do deserve our personal best.
Sometimes it helps to simply be reminded. Doesn't it?